Article by People of Trinidad and Tobago: Esther and Martin

“Martin was diagnosed with Alzheimers Disease when he was 53 but the changes began 2 years before that. He was a plumber, a hard-working and orderly man. He started forgetting, accusing people of stealing his things, saying things that were hurtful and untrue and became aggressive. It was so unlike him but as we later found out, typical behavioural changes of the condition. We have 6 children ranging in ages from 32-45 and 13 grandchildren. We didn’t understand what was happening and had no idea that someone as young as him could develop it. It took a lot of adjusting, patience and strength to get to where we are now. For the most part he doesn’t recognise or remember anyone now. There’s no conversation – sometimes he smiles. He used to call me Esther – now he sometimes says” Marmee”. He spends his time at home-his muscles are getting weak and he gets tired very quickly. He loved music so the radio is always on. He taps his feet-sometimes we dance. Sometimes when I say, “you know I love you?” he responds with a smile or says it back. 
All the mirrors in the house are covered because he gets agitated when he sees his reflection. I do everything for him now- bathe him, feed him, cut his hair, shave him. He was so active before- always doing something: working, involved in Church, always willing to help anyone, looking after the plants. We have one grandson who lives with us. He’s 14 now. He feels it the most because they did everything together. He is physically very well. I worry about dying before him. The children do what they can but they are working and have their own families and lives. I know none of our plans for the future will happen. He used to say we would travel when he retired. I took him to family in Grenada and NY last year and the year before. 
Sometimes when I am tired, I ask God for strength to carry on. I can’t leave him alone or take my eyes off him for long. It’s almost like having a baby again. He walked away twice- once out of the house towards the bus route and the second time when we were in POS. Those moments are terrifying. He moves around much less now but I keep the gate locked. 
I joined the Alzheimers Association a few years ago. We meet once a month.as a group. Its helped me a lot to be able to share experiences and prepare for what’s next. You can’t give up on the person -you just have to adjust. Neighbours, family, friends and even strangers have been very kind and helpful. Look at us on our wedding day….
 -Article and photo by Rashmi Mathur of People of Trinidad and Tobago
Dated August, 2016